Gray Matter Musings

September 14th, 2009

2009-09-14T18:59:00.002-05:00

It has been a while since I have posted. It is not for any particular reason, I have been moving forward with my fitness. I guess I really just did not have anything Earth shattering to say or more than that I think I was getting bored, which in turn, leads to not getting results. Needless to say, that all ended today. Why you ask? One word answer...INSANITY.

Today was my fit test for the next 60 day journey towards Insanity. This program is like nothing I have ever seen before. A very similar experience to when I first came across the sensation of P90X. And it has motivated me in much the same way. I had to “prepare” for this journey. More mentally than physically. I believe that physically most anything can be accomplished through hard work and perseverance. However, mental barriers (to me at least) seem insurmountable. I can honestly say, for the very first time, the way I will look in 60 days is not going to amount to a hill of beans. My goals for the first time are not aesthetic, they are mental. How far can I push? What are my limits? Can I be better today than I was yesterday?

Those questions are looming someplace in my future. Am I worried? Not really, I will concentrate on today. It’s the next exercise, the next meal, the next step. One at a time, the next better than the last. That’s motivation to me and Insanity will bring that to me, whether I want it or not. That’s just the nature of this beast. I can only hope that others are able to try and push to their own limits. It’s an AWESOME feeling.

So here is my nutrition for today.

As I turn in for the night, this becomes the past and my focus turns towards tomorrow. It was a great day and one that I will cherish. There lies ahead of me 59 more days. 59 more experiences, 59 chances to be my very best. Please join me if you can...you will only become better.

Have a great evening.

All my very best,
Chuck

From Here To There; Visualizing Your Fitness Goals Like You Are Looking At A Mountain Peak

2009-07-25T05:08:00.003-05:00

I could not have said it better myself. Mike is a true inspiration and friend...

You know what you want to achieve physically. You have set your Fitness goals. You have been specific. You have sought out a source of the combination of Fitness Tools (Beachbody Fitness Programs)that will get you there. (Intense workouts, proper nutrition, & effective supplementation)

You feel like you are standing at the base of a HUGE Mountain. You can see the Summit (Achieving your Fitness Goals) from where you are standing. You also can clearly see that there will be a tremendous amount of work involved in achieving those goals. Fitness success does not happen overnight. It takes patience, discipline, consistency, passion, and grit.

Working hard during your daily workout (If you are doing more than one workout per day, try working harder on your 1st workout of the day and you will not need a 2nd. ESPECIALLY if you are doing an extreme Fitness program like P90X or INSANITY), eat clean burning fuel that is workable in daily life and you can enjoy your entire life. Finally, use quality supplements (Like Beachbody's Supplements) to "fill in the gaps" of your Nutrition program. As hard as we try to eat a large variety of foods, we can almost never get all of the quality nutrients from just the food that we consume on a daily basis.

Think about it, you could be 6 weeks (Slimin6), 60 days (INSANITY), or 90 days (Hip Hop Abs, P90, P90X, ChaLEAN Extreme) away from your Fitness goals! That is a drop in the bucket time wise in the larger picture of our lifetime. If you aren't excited by that, you need to get back on the couch and break open that bag of Doritos.... ;-) (Don't do that, you are better than that!) :-)

Each new day is a gift in the fact that we have a chance to move that much closer to the Summit of our own personal Mountain. (Achieving our Fitness goals)

Stop over thinking your nutrition, thinking that variety in your Fitness is something that you HAVE to have or you won't make Fitness Progress (Stick to a Beachbody workout as its laid out in the program guide. When you have achieved or are close to your Fitness goals, then you can start mixing things up)
Sometimes too much variety is a bad thing. (If you are mixing up P90X with INSANITY already, you would be MUCH better off choosing a single Fitness Program and giving it 100% of your effort)

Take each day as it comes, do your best, and ask yourself one question at the end of each day:

"Did I give my best effort and move a little closer to achieving my Fitness goals today?"

Live Strong ~ Live Lean

Mike

Thanks for the encouraging words, Mike.

All my very best,
Chuck

July 24 workout(s) and nutrition...

2009-07-25T04:26:00.003-05:00

I had a unexpected wrinkle to the schedule yesterday. I got to sleep late on the 23rd because of a little get together at the house. I really have become a firm believer in getting the required sleep I need no matter the outcome it may reflect on my workouts. As most of you are now aware, I really despise the late-afternoon workout. I usually end up putting them off and not doing them at all. That all being said, I had no choice on the 24th. I awoke at 6:25 am, which is an hour before I have to go to work. This time constraint does not leave a considerable amount of time to workout (usually 35-40 minutes), eat, shower, prepare meals, get dressed and kiss my wife and son goodbye. Therefore, I had relegated myself to the fact that I would be doing a late-afternoon FRIDAY workout. Definitely not cool! Shortly after I had put my feet on the floor for the day, I remembered a workout that I could do in roughly 20 minutes that was a killer cardiovascular beast. Excitedly, I hopped on my treadmill barefooted (I HIGHLY DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS!!!) and pushed out a great workout. Here's how it went:

Set incline to 0% and warm-up for 3 minutes working up to 4.0 mph

After the warm-up the interval cycles go as follows at 4.0 mph:

2% incline for 1 minute
0% incline for 2 minutes
4% incline for 1 minute
2% incline for 2 minutes
6% incline for 1 minute
4% incline for 2 minutes
8% incline for 1 minute
6% incline for 2 minutes
10% incline for 1 minute
8% incline for 2 minutes

Cool down for 3 minutes at 3.0-3.5 mph.

TOTAL WORKOUT TIME = 21 minutes.

The twenty minutes difference in workout time really benefited me. I got a good workout in and still had time to do all the things I needed to do to prepare myself for the day. Plus, my mood was much better and I had more energy to start my day. The great part is I still ended up coming home and doing my evening workout as scheduled. In the end, I had done 2 workouts and felt no worse the wear for it. Usually, I do not recommend 2-a-days. They are exhausting and are prone to leaving people feeling burned out and injured. I try my best to stay with whatever program I am doing to the letter as to how it was written. Bigger and better fitness minds than myself took the time and research to develop the program the least I can do is follow their recommendations.

Nutrition for the day went very well. I have had the inclination lately, although not wanting this, to not eat as much as I should by midday. By the time I leave work there really should only be room for my dinner and one small snack. However, lately I have left for the day only consuming 1000-1100 calories. That quite a burden on my body after 6 pm to have to ingest, then digest before bed at a reasonable hour. It is definitely a tweak I can work on. I mean who can really complain about having to eat more. Regardless, here's the nutrition for the day:

I have been real happy with my journey as of late. I know that I type the saying all the time but it really has been "one workout, one meal and one pound at a time."

All my very best,
Chuck

July 22nd workout and nutrition

2009-07-22T20:43:00.004-05:00

Today was another solid day downstairs at the gym. I love my basement, mostly because it has become my sanctuary of sorts. It is where I get away from everything and concentrate on me. Please do not misunderstand, it's not an ego thing. EVERYONE needs their alone time and mine is that 30-45 minutes 6 days a week in that small room with my DVD's and weights. Granted I have many other interests and hobbies but it usually involves other people. My workouts are solitary. That is just the way I like it.

Today's workout was the 3rd week of Burn Circuit 2. It was a very intense 40 minutes and I really pushed this morning. I am starting to get a rhythm with these workouts. The familiar moves are starting to pay dividends. It's too bad, in some ways, that next week it will all mix up again and I will have a new set of routines to conquer. It's that change that leads to growth and a lack or boredom.

Since I have to work early tomorrow my cardio will have to be pushed back to around 6pm. Not the best scenario, but a manageable one. Again, it's a change that can be dealt with and will give me something to focus on. Especially, since there will be a jewelery party going on upstairs. That I need a welcome distraction from...it's just not my cup of tea.

Nutrition was right where I needed it to be. With Caleb's T-ball game tonight dinner was a grab and go. but, healthy nonetheless. Other than that, everything looks on target for what I am trying to accomplish. Here are the numbers from today:

Have a great evening everyone. Keep pushing play.

All my very best,
Chuck

July 21st nutrition

2009-07-21T19:20:00.003-05:00

Not really much to say today. It was a rest day on the workout front. Work was, well, work. My nutrition is back on track after my birthday yesterday. The only thing I decided to do yesterday was have a few cocktails at dinner, other than that the day was spot on. Did it effect me? Not really, you have to enjoy life as it comes. You understand your decisions and move forward. No big deal.

Here's the nutrition from today. Again, a good day on many levels.

Keep pushing forward and keep your focus sharp. The rest will take care of itself.

All my very best,
Chuck

July 18th nutrition and workout

2009-07-19T08:14:00.003-05:00

I am posting this not a bit delayed from yesterday, but better late than never. The workout for today was Burn Circuit 3 and man, did it burn today. I increased the weight on almost every exercise and went to the required failure rep of 12 as well. What this means is that next week will be a bear. I will be increasing the weights again next week in an attempt to start failing at 10 reps. It's something to look forward to, I guess. Sometimes this fitness stuff can turn into more of a mental struggle than it can a physical one. It's not so much about the amount of weight but fighting with your mind that your body is capable of lifting that amount of weight. A great saying on the DVD is, "Give me 10% more, now." The battle that ensues is amazing. You fight with yourself about it, but in the end usually you have it to give. People usually give up WAY before their body's ever will. Finding that balance is one of the keys to reaching your goals.

As far as nutrition goes, it was a low day again. I was surprised by my sister and she took my son for a sleepover and left me to my own devices last night. It was a great time. I went to visit an old friend and catch-up, before I left I had my "dinner" and then headed off. I got home at around 11-ish and it was time for bed. I did not really feel hungry and therefore did not eat anything else. It happens and that's cool. Yes, eating on a planned schedule is a very good way to keep you on target with your nutrition. However the reality is that last night while I was having great conversation and listening to stories of old and new, the last thing on my mind was whether or not I got the right amount of protein, carbs and fat in for the day. I knew that up until going to my friends my intake for the day was pretty spot on. I wasn't hungry, so I did not eat. Simple. Again, find your balance, it's what will keep you doing this for a lifetime instead of 2 weeks.

Here's my intake for the day:

Keep your balance in your journey. Keep focused and the happiness will follow. One workout, one meal and one pound at a time.

All my very best,
Chuck

July 17th nutriton and workout

2009-07-17T20:15:00.002-05:00

Well, after yesterday's sickness things could only get better today. I took in a bunch of rest yesterday and really just laid around and tried to eat what I could. It's tough when you are sick to stay on par with your normal routine, no matter what that may be, and do all the activities you have to in a day. I took the day for what it was worth and feed my body the best food that I could stomach; also, it's pretty tough to eat when you are asleep for 12 plus hours.

Today was a completely different story. I still felt a bit sluggish in the morning when I woke up. I shook of the tiredness and hit the day with my normal fervor. I committed to my nutrition from the get go knowing that yesterday was a "light day" at best. I slept in to give myself time to recover knowing that I would have the dreaded "evening workout" after a long day at work. I put it in my planner and scheduled it ahead of time. The clock was mine from 6pm - 7pm. NO IFs, ANDs or BUTs!! That was just the way it was going to be and my family, in true incredible fashion, was completely understanding.

Tonight's workout was Burn Intervals, a completely exhausting workout and left me asking for mercy at the end. I overcame a couple of mental hurdles and ended up with a fantastic workout and something to be proud of...another day in the books. It really is one workout at a time, one meal at a time, one pound at a time. Those goals are so attainable for anyone and something to really hang your hat on.

Here's my nutrition for the day:

Keep moving your journey forward. Keep pushing play!!

All my very best,
Chuck

July 15th nutrition and workout

2009-07-15T20:20:00.001-05:00

Today's workout was Chalean Extreme Burn Circuit 2. Another great 40 minutes of working out and you feel it during the entire workout. When it's over you cannot believe that you only spent that short amount of time and worked up that much sweat. What a great feeling. I have notice a slight strength gain and some of the moves are becoming more fluid. I have never really trained two (sometime three) body parts at the same time. The balance required in some of the exercises is amazing. Chalene Johnson really put together a GREAT program. I am excited to hit the next phase in 2 weeks time.

Nutrition was solid again today. Protein looks a bit low, but I did the math and it's well within the 0.8 - 1.0 grams per body weight ratio. And honestly, even if it was not, there isn't much I can do about it now. Tonight was rather hectic with Caleb's Tee-ball and then having to go "find" dinner. That's never a good option because usually people find the worst possible food. I settled on a Subway salad. No need for bread after 8pm, fresh veggies and a good source of lean protein. Not too shabby.

Well, here today's intake:

Oh and the best part about today was coming home and seeing this....

I WILL be at my best before I start this...I'm going to have to be!!

All my very best,
Chuck

July 14th nutrition

2009-07-15T05:40:00.003-05:00

Today was not that bad for nutrition and it was a rest day for my workout. I finally figured out one of my "triggers". It is ANGER. This emotion completely takes me out of my normal element. When I get irritated it is similar to me just throwing up my hands and giving up. I have no time to think about the consequences or any side effects of my actions. I really had to fight through this anger yesterday and had a minor slip (the sandwich at the end of the day). no need obsessing over it, it happened, but know I know why. That is the best part about it because now the next time I will know exactly what to do. Here's my nutrition for the 14th:

Please keep pushing play, moving forward and most importantly having fun.

All my best,
Chuck

July 13th nutriton and workout

2009-07-13T19:52:00.003-05:00

Hello just another day in paradise here. Today's workout was Burn Circuit 1. I love this workout because it focuses mostly on the chest and shoulders. In the 40 minutes I was downstairs today, I must have soaked that small hand towel of mine. The sweat was just pouring off of me. It seemed like the set could not end soon enough so I could towel off. All that work really prepared me for a day of good nutrition. That is one of the things that motivates me to stay on track. A common theme I hear from people is, "I worked out really hard, this piece of (insert bad food here) won't hurt." or "I'm going to the gym later so this little piece of (insert bad food here) won't even count." The problem is...IT ALL COUNTS!! I know, I sound like a food Nazi. Honestly, that's just the plain and simple truth.

Recently, I have had a very focused concept of nutrition and I go about my merry way with things. People have become used to seeing me at work with my little blender and my chicken breasts with veggies. It's just who I am. The best part is I refuse to judge or begrudge people the things they want to eat. It's rude and unfair if I were to do so. What you do, is your business. If you feel bad about not eating right because you see others eating right is not their fault. I am asked quite often at work by people, "Is this food bad for you?" "Should I not eat this or that?" My answer is always the same.

"It depends. If you REALLY want it then eat it. I try not to tell people what they can and cannot eat. If you think it's bad for you, chances are you are right."

But I will say this, the world sure would stink without cookies!! Period, end of sentence. I love me a good cookie and I always will. There is no better treat in my humble opinion. However for where I want to be in my fitness and nutrition journey, it's just not in the cards. I'm not saying I am NEVER going to have a cookie again...that's foolish. Of course, I am and when I do I am going to LOVE IT!! There is a very simple formula to this whole fitness thing:

NUTRITION + WORKOUTS + SUPPORT = SUCCESS!! (Thanks Mike and Tami)

So, go out there and find your success and make a plan that works for you. Here's my nutrition for the day:

All my very best,
Chuck

Failures and Losers

2009-07-13T19:38:00.003-05:00

Note: I wrote this some time ago and found that I should post it here.

”Those that believe they can, and those that believe they cannot, are both right.”

~Henry Ford

I have really had to read this quote a few times to grasp what it was trying to say to me. One can look at this quote very superficially and come to an easy conclusion about positive though and its impression on the human psyche. I do not think it ends there. I believe, at least for me, that it goes much deeper than that. To me, it comes down to being a loser or a failure.

I can say with all sincerity that I have failed far more than I have succeeded in my life. I am cool with it, not damaged a darn bit. However, when I looked back there was more than one occasion when I was nothing but a loser. And yes, one of those times was right around January of 2007. I was at my heaviest weight, depressed, irritable and physically and mentally inept. Now those things alone did not make me a loser nor does it anyone else. What made me a loser was my lack of belief that change could happen and that my circumstances were everyone fault but my own.

Not one damn person stuffed that garbage into my mouth repeatedly. Nobody ever told me that I was headed down a very bad path health-wise. It is not their job and it is not their life. Losers make excuses. Losers hold others accountable for their own actions. Losers look for a remedy without a journey or a plan. Losers use their environment as a crutch to lean on. They have a very egocentric view that they are owed something on the basis of who they are. Sound harsh? Well it is, because losers don’t face facts; they turn their backs on them. How do I know? I know because I have done it...ALL OF IT!! I am a recovering loser!

There I admitted it...

”Hello, my name is Chuck and I used to be a loser.”

”Hi, Chuck.”, the loser support group moans. ;)

People always relate failure or failing to being a loser. As if failing were a negative thing. Do not misunderstand me if you fail to realize that climbing Everest is dangerous, that can quickly turn into a negative. On the other hand, failing to do the same number of pushups as your intended goal is NOT a negative thing. I have said it before, if you are not failing in your exercise program you are not setting your goals high enough. Failure is a great thing to have. You learn, you grow, you accept the things you cannot change for that moment in time. Failure leads to a belief that eventually you will overcome.

Think about your goals for whatever program you are on or if you are not on a program a goal you would like to try and achieve. For example, Joe Smith says he wants to lose 30 pounds and run a 9 minute mile. Joe Smith on day one is a failure...he’s no lighter than the day before and he’s running at a 15 minute pace. What makes him not be a loser is that he pushed play that day. He ran as hard as he could for that workout. He supplied his body with the best fuel he could manage to find for that day. He examines the failure as a positive thing and moves forward because he has a belief that eventually he can. Losers will give up, eat crappy food because it doesn’t really matter. That 9 minute mile is just a pipe dream and it would take forever to lose 30 pounds.

People that are failures have no deadlines, no end game in sight. The finish line is always in the future and always just out of reach to make way for something better. People with a loser mentality a begging for the last day to arrive. Once they hit that, they can stop and relax. Losers simply miss the point. They are waiting for the chance to hold up for just a second. As Tony Horton so eloquently puts it, “There is no just a second.”

All I can keep saying is embrace your failures. I think you are awesome because you fail!! For the simple reason, that you keep showing up. You are a believer that you can change. You are not a loser, no matter what others may think. You have decided to make changes that sometimes lead to failure.

How bold are you for just doing that?!!

You have laid it all out on the line and are willing to accept ANYTHING that might happen, losers don’t do that. Losers believe they never will. Failures believe they could not for that moment but eventually will overcome. I believe in you and there are a ton of people that believe in you. There is no time limit and there are no ordinary moments. Step by step and failure by failure you will become, through belief, anything you set you mind too.

All my very best,
Chuck

July 12th nutrition and workout.

2009-07-12T20:36:00.003-05:00

Today's workouts were Burn it off and Recharge. The perfect way to end the week. Basically cardio intervals for 30 minutes straight and then 20 minutes of great stretching and limbering of the body after a hard week's work.

Nutrtion today was very good and on target. Again I believe most fall within the top two tiers of Michi's Ladder and accomplished exactly what I needed. Good fuel = good mood, good workouts, good repair. It's just that simple. Here is my intake for today:

If you are trying to read this picture just click on it and you will get a larger view. I do not really have much to talk about today. I was a great week, got to spend some quality time with my son and talked fitness and nutrition to a bunch of people. It does not get much better than that, well with the exception of playing a round of golf at Augusta National on a Saturday morning, but that did not happen. I keep dreaming...who knows.

Hope you all had as great of a week as I did. Please keep moving forward with your journey and enjoy.

All my very best,
Chuck

Supplements

2009-07-12T19:24:00.004-05:00

I do get asked quite a bit about supplements and the common questions are the following:

Do they work?
What do you take for supplements?
Are the supplements you take regulated?
Aren't supplements just a way for companies to get more money out of you?

These are all GREAT questions by the way and valid as well. With the bombardment of advertising in "magic pills" that will do literally everything for you suspicion should be part of your decision. I know it was part of mine when I first started taking supplements (and I worked in the medical field for over 14 years).

Let me do my best to explain to you MY answers to these questions.

Do they work?

In a word, YES! Depending on what supplement you are taking and what you are taking it for and I'm not talking male enhancement by the way! To understand you have to understand what a supplement is supposed to be in the first place. IT SUPPLEMENTS YOUR ALREADY HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!! The average person does not get all the required nutrients during their daily nutritional intake. Most people do not get enough omega-3-fatty acids in their nutrition, hence, the supplement that supplies that for you. The key thing to remember is these are assisting you the reach your goals not reaching them for you. Taking a thermogenic (another term for a fat burner) will not work without proper nutrition and exercise. It will assist you but cannot be the only thing you do.

What do you take for supplements?

Perfect opportunity for me to use my awesome new camera....

From Left to Right they are as follows.... ActiVit (daily Vitamin), Core Omega-3, Shakeology, P90X Recovery Formula, EAS 100% Whey, Joint Support Formula, Herbal Immune Boost (as needed)

And yes, I do take these every day! They help me tremendously and I feel very lousy when I do not.

Are the supplements you take regulated?

No supplements in this country are regulated by the FDA. That is why trust in a company is very important!! I have never been wronged by Beachbody and I have always trusted the products they have released. i know that their supplements are designed by some of the BEST in the business, for example Mark Sisson (just Google that name). I know that they design and use only NATURAL ingredients. I think they have the best products period. And as you will notice, I use EAS whey. To me, whey is whey.

Aren't supplements just a way for companies to get more money out of you?

If used the wrong way, YES!! Again, I cannot stress enough that supplements are only good when you put the work in. Except from some homeopathic supplements, like the Herbal Immune Supplement, that assist you normal body function. However, if you use the P90X Recovery Formula and you don't workout...what good is that going to do for you?
Well, I don't want to keep going on an on about this subject. I think you get the point, but if you have questions about supplements or something that you may be taking yourself. LET ME KNOW!! Leave me a comment or send me and email cwaterman@ymail.com. I love talking about this stuff.

All my very best,
Chuck

July 10th nutrition and workout

2009-07-10T21:14:00.003-05:00

I cannot tell you the number of times the phone rings when I have to do an evening workout. That is why I choose to workout VERY early in the morning. The chances of being distracted are very close to nadda. However, in the evening, WITHOUT FAIL, 1-5 minutes before I am ready to head downstairs to workout....RING, RING, RING.

Now most people would say, "Ignore the darn phone and go workout."

Unfortunately, you never know when a fellow coach, customer or the President might be calling(or your significant other which is just as important if not most important. LOVE YOU HONEY!!). Hence, I pick up the phone and it's some slick sales guy who weaseled his way around my Beachbody websites, telling me he doing P90X, really likes what I am doing and is thinking about being a coach yadda, yadda, yadda. I hope he really is though but, WHATEVER DUDE!! Let's just say 35 minutes later, I FINALLY get to my workout. By this time I had some major aggression and motivation. Nothing is more precious to me than my time and I cannot stand to have it wasted. Granted, it's my own fault for answering the phone and not being able to be rude and tell someone to shut the heck up.

Anyway, tonight I did Chalean Extreme Burn Phase 1: Burn Circuit 3. OWWWIEEE!!! It was a shoulder, chest, core and leg killer. I was sweating like a madman and felt 100 times better afterwards.

As far as nutrition goes today. No slips, no fumbles and a little view outside the box for lunch today. That's right, I "ate fresh" for lunch. Hanging out with some co-workers and enjoying the sunshine with a nice 6-inch roasted chicken breast sandwich. Not bad, the first "bread" carbs I had taken in all week. It was interesting, but I found that I really enjoyed my non-grain carbs lunches better. Not nearly as weighed down as I felt today after lunch. I must admit my lunches for this week were far more fresh than that sub from today. Don't get me wrong in the world of fast food Subway is the way to go, but I would rather bring left overs or something from home. The rest of the day was very nice and my calories rebounded nicely from yesterday's lull. Here's the goods on my nutrition:

This week, so far, has been phenomenal on so many different levels that it is tough to explain. I think it is a testament to how important healthy food and exercise is to the human condition. If you haven't been active for a while, just go for a walk. Take 10-20 minutes for yourself. Look at all that incredible food we have access too...I am talking about the stuff not found in packages by the way...when you go to the grocery store this week pick 1 or 2 veggies, fruits or lean meats (Bison comes to mind) you have NEVER tried before and try them. Make a valiant attempt to eat out only 1 time this week. Just try it, you might find that you'll enjoy it. Funny part is you may save yourself some money too!! Ok, ok I know...

I'll come off the box. Have a great weekend everyone. Take some deeper breaths, soak in the sun (if you get any!!), jump in some mud puddles. Go out there and live. Keep pushing play and moving forward in your journey.

All my very best,
Chuck

July 9th workout and nutrition

2009-07-09T21:51:00.002-05:00

Today was an incredible day. My normal routine was completely shot, work was a bear and things did not look good in ANY way shape or form. However, thing had a way of pulling themselves together and everything turned out fine. I did not let the struggles and frustrations of the day take me off track. Actually it was the workout, or the anticipation for the workout, that kept me on the right course. YOU WILL HAVE DAYS LIKE THIS!!! The key, at least for me, is to remember what you are trying to do. Are you going to let some event, some other person effect your goal? You and I are worth so much more than that, your health is far more important, the fuel you give your body is too important.

So, my workout was Burn Intervals and Ab burner. 45 minutes of intense, interval core cardio. It is just an amazing workout with tons of room to grow with it and become better. My nutrition is posted below. Calories were a little low today, definitely not on purpose. It is just how the day turned out and it's officially in the past. No worries and tomorrow we move forward.

Please keep pushing play and moving forward.

All my very best,

Chuck

July 8th nutrition

2009-07-08T20:39:00.007-05:00

Below is today's total daily nutrition. And here's a picture of dinner, which was MAAHHHHVELLOUS!! Filet mignon with reduced fat blue cheese on the grill and a baby spinach, strawberry salad with balsamic vinegar.

Nutrition can be really easy when planned correctly. It just takes some positive thought, a little patience and a bit of support from those around you. It is a very achievable goal and it happens one meal at a time.

All my best,
Chuck

PHASE 1 : BURN

2009-07-08T05:29:00.005-05:00

Now I really understand why they call this the "Burn" phase of the program. All of my major muscle groups are on fire right now and twitching like there have been about 500 volts passed through them. HAHAHA but as people always say, "I feel great though."

Got a long day ahead of me today and surprisingly it's raining again up here in Maine. So, let me re-phase that last sentence by saying it's going to be a long, rainy day. I had to type that last sentence 3 times because of the twitching...I think that means I need some recovery drink, a shower and then breakfast.

Here's a video I did a few weeks back about this workout...

Have a great day everyone, keep pushing and here's a little quote to get you through the day...feeling a tad bit paradoxical today,

"And the mystery itself is the doorway to all understanding" ~Lao-tzu

Find your mystery today and enjoy the journey.

All my very best,

Chuck

July 7th nutrition

2009-07-07T20:31:00.002-05:00

Nutrition was good for today. i really am enjoying the details of things. Taking stock in what i am using to fuel my body. I highly recommend doing it, not to over analyze every morsel but just to remind you all the great things you use to make your body go.

Have a great night everyone...off to bed I go.

Always,

Chuck

Rest Days are good days...

2009-07-07T18:26:00.003-05:00

Today was a rest day for me. On the Chalean Extreme program you get 2 rest days per week and this is an awkward change for me. After doing P90X you get so used to pushing as hard as you can for 6 days a week it became my mantra.

"Anything less than 6 days is UNACCEPTABLE!!!"

As hard as this habit will be to shake I think it's meant to be, because there's a reason the program was put toegther a ceratin way.

With Chalean Extreme is all about CONCENTRATION!! I have noticed a sharper focus with my workouts. You still push hard but, you concentrate so hard and lift heavy too that i really believe you need that extra rest day. Try it sometime, no matter your workout, and you WILL see and feel a difference. 100 percent commitment to each and every exercise. You will see results.

Well, I will post my daily intake after dinner.

All my very best,

Chuck

July 6 nutrition

2009-07-06T19:21:00.003-05:00

Just posting my nutrition for the day. I have tried to stay within the top two tiers of Michi's Ladder . I think today was a pretty darn good day. When people ask about the whole "fitness-thing" and I try very hard to get them to understand at least one thing...your success is guided by your commitment to your nutrition. It's that plain and simple. Doughnuts and dumbbells DON'T mix!! I think most people can show up for their workouts but really struggle when it's time to step up to the plate. (HA, I kill me!!)

I know that nutrition has been my biggest hurdle in my fitness journey and something I struggle with from time to time. I mean, the world would absolutely stink without Ice Cream!! Just keep your head-up and really pay attention to what you are using to fuel your body you will be thankful in the end.

All my very best,
Chuck

Day 1 towards Insanity...

2009-07-06T05:17:00.000-05:00

This morning's workout was Power 90 Master Series: Sculpt 5-6. It was a great workout and also telling about how far I have to go before I am Insanity ready, not that there is such a thing. Memories like the feeling of this workout are helping to build a foundation for allowing me to let this fitness journey happen. No analyzing, no getting bummed about the "numbers". Just open up and bring it to the best my body will allow and prepare my body with the best food I have at the ready. To me that is the key right now.

Well, I have to shower, get ready for work and tackle the day ahead. Keep pushing play.

All my best,

Chuck

Nobody is PURFEKCT..

2008-11-02T11:25:00.005-05:00

I have been journeying for a while now in fitness and the funny thing I have noticed is how cyclic my life can become. Currently, I am going through one of those perfection phases again. They are real big stumbling places for me. Fortunately, I am glad to have kept a journal of writings and now can use them for my own self-therapy. Sad and psychotic? Could be, but sometimes it helps. This entry was something I scribbled down about about a year ago. I changed a few things to make it current to some of my recent goals. The beginning of the entry is me talking to me...then I try to turn my struggle into something that might connect with others. It's fun to talk to yourself...however, I usually do try to answer myself as is proof positive here...that tilts towards scary. Oh well, I hope you can use this little entry if you are struggling with some perfection issues...

It’s funny I have been worrying lately about the outcome of my fitness journey. The standard when, what and why questions. When am I going to see that “six pack”? What is the next hurdle I am going to face? Why can’t I get all the way through ARX yet? Tony says it at the start of almost every workout…”GET YOU MIND RIGHT PEOPLE!” So, I have attempted to try and get my mind right about this “perfection complex” I have seemed to obtain.

After some long nights at work (doing double shifts), prepping for the PA interview and chewing on turkey jerky I came to a not so shocking conclusion: I believe it is within our human nature to compare. “Keeping up with the Joneses” has been around since the beginning of recorded time…even though there were no people with the last name Jones. Comparison can be a great motivator to reach a different level of fitness. Mike and Tami French, for instance, drive me to find great strength and functional fitness. Mark Briggs drives me to want to perform Plyo with a weighted vest someday. Tony Barca makes me want to find that spiritual place in yoga. Those are HEALTHY ways of comparing to each other. Pushing until you cannot push anymore…or, as Phil would say it, “Until I was puking on the side of the road.” Believe it or not, that is a healthy way to push towards a perfection goal. Trying to look like the guys or girls on the cover of the magazine or even like someone here at Team Beachbody…well, sometimes it’s healthy. Most times it can be damaging, physically and mentally. I am guilty just as much as the next person for performing this torture on myself. “I wanna look like him!! I’m busting my tail, where the hell are my ABS?” This fight has been constant in my life even before P90X; I just never got of my ASS to do anything about it. The fact of the matter folks is you are YOU, and you will never be those that you physically compare yourself too. Just as they all are imperfect, you are your own imperfect little self. Live in your imperfections…move towards changing them patiently.

Here are two of my favorite perfection quotes:

“The vision that you glorify in your mind, the ideal you enthrone in your heart. This you will build your life by, and this you will become.” – James Lane Allen

“When you aim for perfection, you discover it’s a moving target.” – Geoffrey F. Fisher

Always remember, you are moving towards a comparable goal with all of us here - To be fit, healthy, vibrant people and to show the world that this healthy life is attainable. Some arrive there faster than others, but the point is to keep moving…crawl if you can. I, or better yet WE (if I may speak for others), WILL be here for you. The cover of P90X says decide, commit, succeed. What the cover doesn’t say is that this team has decided together, commits together, and will succeed together. You all here have come to mean a great deal in my life and you are with me for every run and every workout.

Always,

Chuck

I know it's Halloween but all this sugar scares me...

2008-10-31T11:43:00.002-05:00

It's not just because I have a 4 year old. For the most part, I can control him and his sugar intake. The only time it's out of my hands is when he's with my sister, sister-in-laws or grandparents. You know what, that's when he is supposed to get things he normally does not get from us. This post is going to seem to have a rose colored, save the whales (no pun intended) kind of vibe to it.

I'm more concerned about my co-workers, friends, family and just people in general I see on the street, in the mall and in their cars. These are the people that cannot seem to control themselves and they are making themselves sick. Is it truly any of my damn business? Well, no actually. However since I made some changes in my life and found that it was not all that difficult, I really get a kick out of supporting more people in doing it. Mostly those that think or have been told that they cannot.

The people that tell me my whole fitness and eating right thing is "just not for them" or "means that they cannot live their own life" can keep on walking right along with that blissful ignorance to that early health problem or whatever other problem it may be. That's just fine and dandy and I sincerely want what is best for THEM. And you know what, even when they come back some time later and ask for information I still give it to them and will back them 100 percent.

Back to the topic at hand...SUGAR. Is it all bad? No. Can you still eat it? Yes, you kind of have to, it's in just about everything in some form or another. Does that make Ho-Ho's and Ding-dong's healthy? NOT EVEN CLOSE! Believe it or not that's the rationale some choose to follow. When sugar or simple carbohydrates are at there scariest is with those people that have Early or Adult onset Type 2 Diabetes. Unbelievably, these are the people most likely to have problems with eating the stuff. Consciously or not. These are also a large group of people that are told there is nothing they can do for themselves, other than live with eating celery and water and watching their sugars constantly. Can you believe I know someone that was told by their doctor, no less, they would just have to live with the current weight they are and that things cannot change for them? WRONG!!! I'm not a physician, or even a physician assistant [at least not yet, please pray for my good fortune at my interview with UNE on 11/8/08!!! ;-) ], and I couldn't imagine giving someone such a lack of hope for what can be for some such a controllable disease. There I was, shocked after hearing this, trying to think of an answer and then I read Carl's blog. I'll paste some of it here for you. The numbers shocked me and the plan inspired me even more.

Nearly 24 million Americans, 8 percent of the population, have Type 2 diabetes, which can lead to kidney failure, blindness and heart disease.

Current guidelines say doctors should prescribe metformin (about $30 a month) to lower blood sugar in newly diagnosed patients and urge them to eat healthy food and get more exercise. Other drugs can be added later, on top of metformin, to help patients who don't meet blood sugar goals. The updated guidelines don't include Avandia, which costs about $225 a month.
Dr. Susan Spratt, an endocrinologist at Duke University Medical Center, said she prescribes whatever it takes to lower her patients' future risk of blindness and amputations. That can mean coupling more costly drugs with metformin to hit blood sugar goals.

Ok... $225 for patients "who don't meet blood sugar goals"... to lower risks of blindness and amputation. Seems worth $2,700 a year. So does some change to diet and exercise.

For $99.95 - one time - Kathy Smith's Project You for Type 2 will help someone "meet their blood sugar goals" with exercise and diet. The American Diabetes Association saw the need for this type of product, and co-produced the program with Beachbody.

If you are a coach, this should make it difficult to sleep. Be relentless about getting the word out about this. RELENTLESS. People you know have diabetes. Or there are people you know who know people who have diabetes. Their are education groups. There are doctors. THEY ALL NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE THE SOLUTION, CREATED IN COLLABORATION WITH THE ADA!

This is the ONLY product of its kind on the market. We could give every diabetic in the country this program for $2.5 Billion - one time - versus the $12.5 Billion spent on drugs in 2007 alone! People can save $10 Billion -- $2,700 a year for each person who uses lifestyle change with this program to avoid stepping up to Avandia.

It's amazing to me that we are in this position, but lifestyle change really is that hard. That's what is so powerful about the effect of peer support; friends helping friends. That's how change happens. That's why you are the solution!

Yes, we ALL can be part of the solution. Tell your friends that there is a way. Have them contact me at cwaterman@ymail.com. Tell your physician to contact me if they don't believe you. WE need to help solve this problem, it is worth it. To read the whole article on the numbers and costs surrounding Diabetes you can go here.

All my best,
Chuck

Been a loooong time...

2008-10-29T17:21:00.002-05:00

Since I really have no time on my hands, I figured this would be the best time to start blogging again. Because nothing says "complete freak" quite like adding one more thing to do in an otherwise jammed pack day.

Actually, I am going to try and log on here as often as I can. Just to journal and remove some of the clutter from my head. If I see an interesting thing, go on a really picturesque run, have a complete meltdown or want to boast about my son I'm sure you all, that's right all 6 of you, will hear about it.

This post gets the ball rolling....I'll see where it goes from here.

All my best,
Chuck

The show...

2006-10-23T17:03:00.000-05:00

Got a call to audition for a show in late August to benefit a mission for a local church. Needless to say, I got a role (my first lead) and have been going non stop since. The show was a so-so farce called "My Son is Crazy...but Promising." It's about a B-movie screen writer that sells it all to buy a run-down hotel in the middle of Arizona...to dig for buried treasure. All kinds of craziness ensues with gansters, aliens, crazy foreign spies, and his mother paying a surprise visit. All the action takes place in the hotel lobby and was actually quite funny at some moments. It was truly a great experience and we sold out both nights...made about 8 grand for the mission. GOOD STUFF and they (the church) were so nice! They had food for us every night and treated us so great, you know like we were real actors. It was funny, they would thank us so much for our time, if they only knew how much most of us just LOVE the chance to be able to act in front of an appreciative audience.

I'll post so pictures, if I ever get my hands on them.

I'm frrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

2006-10-22T08:11:00.000-05:00

WOW! I was looking at this sad excuse for a blog and realized that I have not posted in over a month. Sorry, I have been way to busy doing tons of other things. Such as:

* Teaching, teaching, teaching
* Doing a show (just wrapped up yesterday!!)
* Finishing the basement.
* Playing with the boy.
* Working on my three other blogs (class related)
* Barely sleeping
* Catching a nasty cold!!

Other than that, you know, I have a good fifteen minutes to myself every day.

Now that the show is over, my nights will be clear for reading and blogging at a respectable level.

I will write tomorrow and fill you all in on the going on, tonite...I need to rest!

candle burning....

2006-09-07T20:52:00.000-05:00

Could someone please tell where I am and what day it is? Between faculty meetings, department meetings, budgets, play rehearsal, anniversaries, birthday parties, open houses, and two-year old running amok I feel tired. All I do is wake up at 4:45 am and go until around 10:30 or 11:00 at night. There are many high points but most things are blurry. The amazingly funny part to this story...I couldn't be any more happy. Bags under the eyes are just a fact of life in your first year of teaching a new subject, I think it's all the other extra activities that have me spinning.

I know I have neglected this blog and I am sorry, for the ten of you that read it. But to make matters worse I am now responsible, my own self doing, for monitoring my class blogs as well. I will try to keep you all updated as to the funny things that are going on up here or any random thoughts that cross my mind. You know, like, the new gray hair I found this past weekend...ok, maybe not that.

Again, I can't say this enough. I should have NEVER left teaching, I am home and it feels great!!! I miss my peeps back at MSC..but I love my kids (all 96 of them) and no matter how tired I get, the next day can't come soon enough.

Talk with you all soon.

What is school...and why am I there?

2006-09-04T17:06:00.000-05:00

After spending the last couple of days of August trying to rest and cleaning my classroom, I tried to mentally prepare myself for the onslaught of students (all 1300 plus of them) that would be arriving on Wednesday. There would be plenty of faces I would remember, even though I spent a year plus away from these hallowed halls, and I am sure a few I would forget.

I have yet to be able to classify how it feels to walk into your classroom knowing that in mere moments the halls and your room will be filled with overflowing bravado, shyness, freaks, geeks, jocks, barbie dolls, and ecetera. I truly believe that they all want to be there in some strange way. There is some sense of security in a school, maybe not physically but surly mentally. Yes, even for the teachers. Maybe that is what I feel, security. Not so much in that I'll have a job because of the union, but more so in the truth of knowledge. No matter how little or great the amount gained may be. (Note: I have now fully stepped onto the soapbox...prepare thyself.)

I have the unique opportunity of teaching to mostly seniors with a few juniors sprinkled here and about. My homebase (or homeroom) students are freshman. It is the most amazing dichotomy I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Classic case of the haves versus the have-nots. Interestingly, however, they are both in the the same stages of knowledge. They both want it BADLY! Freshman want knowledge to fit in and to establish themselves from the middle school (or junior high school)"kids" they were just four months ago. Seniors need and want knowledge because they figured out there is actually some things you can be taught in this world that hold some value. Most of my students that take my class know that I teach more than a science, I teach life. Why? For the simple fact of that I think it's my responsibility and Physics is everywhere in life. There are some specific, mandatory tasks my students must do:

1. Read! I don't care if you can't, even at 17 or 18 you can learn. If it takes Jane, Dick and Spot than so be it. There is a ton of Physics in those books. That way I can teach you both at the same time.

2. Have Respect! Not just to me, but to your fellow classmates. Hey (or Hay) is not, and never will be, a proper way to address people. Between friends in casual conversation, at home, playing sports with your buddies, of course...in my classroom not a chance and you will not be recognized if you do. My response to the students is the following, "These people will remember you for how you treated them, said to and about them, and not for what you performed in these classrooms or sports fields. Believe me when I tell you that is how I will remember you!"

3. Speak and write properly! ESL is a fantastic program! What is most sad is that most people coming from that program speak and write better English than those that have lived here for their whole lives. This task goes hand in hand with #1, without them you will struggle in the "real world" not in like, oh my god, like Laguna Beach or the OC. Master the English language and you can master anything you set you mind to, and impress the hell out of a ton of people.

4. Be on time! Time is the one uncertainty in life that you truly have no control over. Why waste it being late for what could be the one most important thing in you life. Wedding, job, class, last chance to say "I love you" or "Goodbye". Plus, I just think it's plain rude!!

Beyond this...there really isn't that much more I can teach other than Physics. I assure them with hard work and a little patience that's the easy part. Following the four tasks above will be hard enough.

The times they are a changin'...

2006-08-22T19:59:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in an extremely looong time. I am right smack dab in the middle of changing careers...and I'm going back home, to teaching. I really belong there and I could tell the moment I walked back into my classroom. Although it was empty and a bit of a mess, it felt comfortable and inviting...full of possibilities and toys (Hey, it happens when you teach Physics)!!! It is going to be a struggle this first year but I can't wait to get started.

The unfortunate part...I will miss the friends I made at work! I know I'll talk to the ones I want to but, you know, sometimes it can be different. I truly don't want to lose contact with some of my "cube" mates, especially Rae-hizzy and JG (even though they are Bo-sox fans!! HOW ABOUT THAT WEEKEND SERIES!!!). I will miss the jokes and making fun of dumb customers, because as we came to realize baby Jesus hates dumb people!

As they say, "Life is not a dress-rehearsal, this is it!" So, I'm heading to wardrobe to change my costume for my next part.

until next time...

Open letter to Lisa Loeb...

2006-08-11T11:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Lisa,

I happened to be surfing through the channels the other night and came across a repeat of your show #1 Single and I have a few comments. First off, I am married, so please let me go and stop trying to make me jealous. I don't understand if you really care because all I hear from the show is negative. Yes, watching you struggle at dating was rough for me at first and the show in general surprised me; actually I was thrown. You know that I absolutely adore your looks and tell you that you’re clever. You were naive but, you are incredibly sexy in that “girl-next-door” kind of way. It pains me to see you take my long lost crush on you to this level. Granted we haven’t seen each other since you performed up here in Portland almost 8 years ago, but I know we didn’t get to say to each other what we needed to be complete. I mean you were too busy with that whole “performance thing” and the lights up there are really bright. Plus, you had to leave right after the show to get to Buffalo and I understood even though I wanted you to stay, but Lisa I had to carry on.

So, I hope you find happiness and joy with every endeavor you choose. I hope this will make you understand that I say, you only hear what you want to.

All my best,

Chuck

My Daddy, the Superhero, and a number

2006-08-04T04:49:00.000-05:00

I always knew I was a little bit off the norm...now I know why. I urge you to find out who's your real daddy is, what kind of superhero, and what number you are. Enjoy!!

Now I know where my great passion for music and tanning abilities come from...

Your Daddy Is George Clinton

What You Call Him: Pa

Why You Love Him: He takes you to church

Who's Your Daddy?

AND by the way this could not be any more appropriate...especially for those who know me!!

You Are Batman

Billionaire playboy by day. Saving the world by night.
And you're not even a true superhero. Just someone with a lot of expensive toys!

What Superhero Are You?

finally, this is just plain COOL!!

You Are 7: The Enthusiast

You are outgoing and playful - always seeing the happy side to life.

You're enthusiastic and excitable. You love anything new.

Multi-talented, you do many things well... and find success easy.

You prefer to keep things light with others. Opening up is hard for you.

What Number Are You?

Workout Mix...

2006-07-31T19:21:00.000-05:00

Here is the one from Sheila's site

Here's my mix..lots o' heavy, lot's of 80's. I probably change it up every couple of weeks but these are a few songs that constantly keep popping up on my MP3 shuffle play.

Lunatic Fringe - Red Ryder (TWO WORDS: Vision Quest!!)

Fuel - Metallica (Just so metal, it makes my head hurt)

Kiss of Death - Dokken (Great guitar...sweat pouring after just 8 minutes)

Got me Wrong - Alice in Chains (Usually running downhill at this point...)

Needle Lies - Queensryche (Back uphill and needing energy. This song has just the drum beat for it!)

Master of Puppets - Metallica (stairMASTER! MASTER! Give me more pain...almost done)

Detroit Rock City - KISS (It's the anthem that finishes off a great run)

Gorillaz - The Windmill (Still rocking the beat but definitely cooling down)

This Side - Nickel Creek (something about mandolin, guitar, and violin just make my heart rate come down)

Satellite - DMB (something to ponder when I am making sure my heart hasn't stopped and I am taking my final heart rate)

Poetry paradise...

2006-07-31T18:41:00.000-05:00

It has been a while since I have really posted anything. I figured, what is the best way to get back into the swing of things...post more poetry. HAHAHAHAHA!!! I love torturing those who are kind enough to read my blog. Well, here we go with more idealistic 20 something know-it-allism. So, please enjoy and laugh at...

Variance

No chance for alteration.
Using numbers instead of names.
Just a face in the crowd,
fighting the complex of the norm.

A whimsical mind,
brings to being a path,
paved with bystanders,
but there's no look in an onlooker.

You call me a rainbow-chaser,
looking for my pot of gold.
You call me a dreamer,
living in a world unconceivable.

I'm just a commonfolk,
with a different ideal.
A "modern day" imaginer,
due to a variance in visions.

Things you may not have know about me...

2006-07-31T18:35:00.000-05:00

Normally i don't respond to these types of emails...but it came from a good friend so here's the story:

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. High School Science Teacher
2. Medical Technologist
3. Actor
4. Manufacturing Chemist

B) Four movies I could watch over and over:
1. The Breakfast Club
2. Star Wars
3. Pillow talk
4. Days of Wine and Roses
5. Batman
6. Napoleon Dynamite

C) Four places you have lived:
1. San Diego, California
2. New London, Connecticut
3. Great Lakes, Illinois
4. Portsmouth, Virginia

D) Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Inside the Actor's Studio
2. Twin Peaks
3. Chappelle's Show
4. South Park
5. Saturday Night Live (older)
6. The old Alfred Hitchcock show

E) Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Disney (honeymoon)
2. The Berkshires in Massachusetts
3. Cruising the Caribbean
4. As a kid, anywhere my imagination would take me!

F) Four web sites you visit daily (or semi weekly)
1. www.sheilaomalley.com "The Sheila Variations"
2. Google
3. Kiss online (band site)
4. www.graymattermusings.blogspot.com "My blog"(shameless self-promotion)

G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Filet mignon
2. Sushi
3. Well made pizza...made by Greeks or Italians (NOT DOMINOS)
4. Desert

H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. With my wife and son
2. On a stage performing in NYC
3. On the golf course
4. Teaching

There you go! Feel free to copy and comment.

50 Randoms

2006-07-26T13:38:00.000-05:00

A meme stolen from Sheila!

What curse word do you use the most?
Fuck. And in the great words of Cartman, “Fuck, Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck”

Do you own an iPod?
No. I do own an mp3 player though.

Who on your MySpace "Top 8" do you talk to the most?
Don’t visit sexual predator websites…sorry.

What time is your alarm clock set for?
4:45 am…Gawd, I hate running!

What color is your room?
Deep blue walls (in process). White trim. Gorgeous view of the sunset from the dormer window…especially striking when there is snow on the pasture across the street.

Flip flops or sneakers?
Birks in the summer. Sneaks in the fall and winter and working out.

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
In the picture.

What was the last movie you watched?
Napoleon Dynamite, it helped me relax from a stressful day.

Do any of your friends have children?
Most of them do and all we do is talk about them.

Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Yes. Ever since I can remember.

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
No!

What CD is currently in your CD player?
Homemade mix.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Regular for smoothies. Chocolate when I am on my cheat days.

Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Unfortunately…no.

Have you ever given someone a hickey?
Isn’t that a prerequisite when you are officially dating someone in 8th through 10th grade.

Who was the last person to call you?
Allstate Homeowner’s Insurance (see post below).

Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
Ummm, I hope so, because if not that burning in my ear might mean I have an infection.

Did you watch cartoons as a child?
Superfriends, GI Joe, Transformers, Voltron, Spiderman and his Amazing Friends, Scooby, Speed Buggy, Hong Kong Phooey.

How many siblings do you have?
1

Are you shy around the opposite sex?
Not really.

What movie do you know every line to?
Ace Ventura Pet Detective
The Breakfast Club

Do you own any band t-shirts?
Yes…I was a child of the 80’s!

What is your favorite salad dressing?
Ken’s Lite Cracked Peppercorn

Do you read for fun?
Mostly

Do you cry a lot?
No…but I think I should more, it’s a great release of stress.

Who was the last person to text message you?
Nobody.

Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
Desktop…had both (see post below)

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Happy with the one I have but would consider another if the time and situation were right.

What is the weather like?
Hot and Humid.

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Sure in my younger, single days.

Is sex before marriage wrong?
I think it depends on the individual and the relationship.

When was the last time you slept on the floor?
On purpose…boot camp 1989.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
Five to six.

Are you in love or lust?
Both with a woman that I can never imagine being without.

Are your days full and fast-paced?
Yes

Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
Yes…some say obsessively

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
It just passed…but it was a milestone.

Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Yes, I think? Especially when people make up words...like IRREGARDLESS!!!

Have you ever been to Six Flags?
A few times.

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
I would say in general more with women. Except on the golf course!

Do you like cottage cheese?
I have been forced to.

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
Tummy (for the one arm throw over) and side (for spooning).

Have you ever bid for something on eBay?
yes

Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Yes, especially to people that mean a great deal to me.

What song did you last sing out loud?
"Detroit Rock City", by KISS

What is your favorite TV show?
This is a tough one. I loved so many older shows like Twin Peaks, The Wonder Years, Mad about you, and Seinfeld. I totally despise “reality tv” so I really don’t have a favorite at the moment…if I had to pick I’d say CSI (the original).

Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?
A round table consisting of J.C., Aristotle, Marilyn Monroe, and Harrison Ford. Odd mix…but the questions I have for all of them would make for a great power lunch.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Last performance of Picnic, which was about a month ago.

What one thing do you wish you had?
That’s between me, myself, and I

Favorite lyrics?

Unstable condition
A symptom of life
In mental and environmental change
Atmospheric disturbance
The feverish flux
Of human interface and interchange

The impulse is pure
Sometimes our circuits get shorted
By external interference
Signals get crossed
And the balance distorted
By internal incoherence

A tired mind become a shape-shifter
Everybody need a mood lifter
Everybody need reverse polarity
Everybody got mixed feelings
About the function and the form
Everybody got to deviate from the norm

An ounce of perception
A pound of obscure
Process information at half speed
Pause, rewind, replay
Warm memory chip
Random sample, hold the one you need

Leave out the fiction
The fact is, this friction
Will only be worn by persistence
Leave out conditions
Courageous convictions
Will drag the dream into existence

A tired mind become a shape-shifter
Everybody need a soft filter
Everybody need reverse polarity
Everybody got mixed feelings
About the function and the form
Everybody got to elevate from the norm...

VIOLATION....

2006-07-25T20:25:00.000-05:00

Well...have you ever been truly oblivious to the occurences in the world around you? I still am about some things, but today my eyes were blasted wide open.

It was a normal, routine day in my life. Got up at 5 am, ran on my treadmill for 35 minutes, showered, ate breakfast, let the cat out, and got lunch and snacks ready for the day. Got to work around 6:30, put in a typical day at the office and headed for home around 5. Arrive at home after stopping at the store and walk into my mudroom take off my sneaks, and then into the kitchen...

"Hey there Abbey. (I thought to myself) Man,I could have swore I let the kitten out this morning."

Then it hit me! DAMMIT!!!! My slider door and screen were wide open. How could I have been so stupid as to leave a door wide open before I left this morning? WOW, what an idiot! Then the eerieness of the silence cut right through me. Something just did not feel right and I struggled to contain my nerves. I did a quick survey of the rooms...checkbooks were fine, no DVDs, TVs, or CDs missing. Jewelry was all where it should be, passports are still locked up, desktop computer was intact. Then my worst fears came true...the spare bedroom door was opened, which it rarely ever is, and there was something missing. Our laptop had been stolen...the one that contained every memory from our digtal cameras, email addresses, contact information...you get the picture. DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!!!

All I feel is violated...some PUNK walked through my house and stole something of mine. He/she was in my house...my sanctuary...my FUCKING house!!! I am surprised I can type this post because I am so enraged.

What was it worth to you asshole...a couple hundred...my memories, my life for a couple hundred bucks you worthless fuck! You're goddamn lucky I wasn't here, and you want to know why, 'cos I am fucking 5 handicap golfer, which means I don't miss that much with my putter inside of five feet. And that would include your fucking skull. I truly hope you find peace and happiness with my computer, and it gives you everything you need. I tell you this because you have ripped my family's heart out and stolen from us memories that we cherish.

And although I am angry, I'll end up forgiving you because that's what I am supposed to do. And I will forgive you, actually, I already have for the most part. The reason why is because physically, yes you have taken from me, but mentally, you have only made me stronger...I am now no longer oblivious to you and others like you. When I see someone like you, I'll ask if there's anything I can do for you...so you don't have to steal. When I hear someone like you, I will stop and listen and ask if you need to talk some more...so you don't have to feel left out. When someone feels like you, I tell them how someone like you makes other feel...so maybe, just maybe, they won't violate someone the way you have violated me and my family.

I don't really care who you are...and honestly, you don't want me to know who you are. All I want are my pictures and memories. Thankfully, I have a brain for that!

Until next time...

it's my birthday...

2006-07-20T12:56:00.000-05:00

WOW...my only post in the last ten plus days. Oh well, part of having a blog is being a tad bit self-serving. So, with that being said....

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I cannot believe I am as old as I am. But I received a fantastic bouquet of balloons and hope to get to play a round of golf and have a few adult beverages. Or I could stay at work until all hours...because I have to get work done that my boss decided to keep on his desk for a week and a half and wants it done yesterday. Either way it is still my birthday!!

SO...LET ME EAT CAKE!!!

my apologies...

2006-07-12T13:06:00.000-05:00

I will stun you all with some posts later today and tonight...I hope. Sorry it has been a busy weekend and start of the week. Tons to talk about. Yippee!

Comics of my youth....

2006-07-07T09:42:00.000-05:00

BLOOM COUNTY

Bloom County has to be one of my favorite comic strips of all time! Opus, Steve, Bill the Cat, monsters in the closet...images burned into my mind. I could spend hours reading about and attempting to draw these characters. Bill's numerous attempt at political office...Opus' attempts to find his long lost mother, these stories are just priceless. Berke Breathed is an amazing writer and artist..he has recently brought back these charcters now in Opus, a Sunday strip.

What seperated Bloom County from other strips was the humor. There was no straight out slam of people, it was done in a sneaky, silent way. Putting these characters in situations that were topical but not making characters based on real human beings. I mean having Opus attacked by the Sandanista Hordes is hilarious, there is really no need to decribe the inner workings of the political processes of it...it's just the fact that it happened. The above cartoon is a perfect example...Steve was always wrapped up in his woman and always wanted to talk about it. Now who hasn't run across this guy in real life!! Then on one occassion when he couldn't get the girl he lusted after...he gorges himself on Hostess cup cakes...CLASSIC! If you don't think this is funny they made a movie about it...you don't believe me, just watch the movie High Fidelity...same concept just records instead of cupcakes!

So anyway, I highly recommend looking this old strip up and reading what is an amazing anthology of absolutely hilarious writing and great comic strip art to boot. ACK!ACK!

Poetry Parade

2006-07-07T05:03:00.000-05:00

Here we are once again. Back during this time in my life I remember that I used to try and write in double meanings. I believe I did it more so that people would always try to guess what it was that I was writing about. I found this poem and remember that a friend of mine and I actually turned this into a song. It met with decent reviews to whomever we played it for and made my girlfriend at the time cry, with happiness (it's not a Cure song for heaven's sake!). To this day we still have a laugh about it...but it was good to know that she felt, and supposedly still does feel, something special about the words and music. On the other hand, others that we played the song for got a completely different read on what the song was about. Ahhh, memories, and the conceit of a young writer! Alas, we all must move onward...so, here it is:

Forever Faithfully

Reaching out for something that's real,
in a world of darkness and delusion.
Searching endlessly,
only finding loneliness and confusion.
Until I did what was true,
and looked inside my heart,
and found you.

No matter the weather,
or the problems that block our path,
we have stood tall together
and I will always be there for you
Forever faithfully.

You came to me when I could no longer believe,
and turned my life around.
You gave me the strength to carry on,
and find what I thought could not be found.
To begin again and start anew,
I just opened my heart,
and accepted you.

All I have to do is call,
and you are there standing by me,
because our love conquers all.
And I will always be there for you,
Forever faithfully

A simple request...

2006-07-06T20:52:00.000-05:00

So there I am enjoying some conversation, and a few Guinness, with my friend KB. We are conversing about old times, jobs, families, and this really odd couple behind us. They were either listen to our conversation intently or they had run out of things to say to each after numerous years of being together. Who knows...just weird.

I mentioned to her that I had started a blog..and then came the request. So, here it is:

My friend KB is heading to the big city, that's right, NYC!!! She'll be working for the CDC at JFK airport. So if you decide to have SARS, Avian Flu, pertussis, IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), Chlamydia, or any other gaggle of three letter diseases you will not get by her...don't even try!

There now I have told all 10 people that read this blog about her next exciting endeavor. Am I jealous...a little, I always wanted to live in the city..especially the home of the Yanks. But don't worry, I will visit and show her about the theater (no, KB, not where they show movies!) and what real culture is all about.

HAVE FUN KB. I know you'll do great things down there.

Men and their sick fascinations...

2006-07-01T04:00:00.000-05:00

I was lucky enough to get an early release from work the other day, which is rare, and couldn't wait to get home. No, not for what most of you may be thinking...not to go play golf (though that would have been fine), go fishing, watch the ball game, or anything relaxing. I couldn't wait to get home to mow my lawn!! I have not had the desire, EVER, to mow any lawn. I repeatedly was badgered as a child to mow the damn lawn, as my father would say. It was a passionate hateful relationship between Craftsman and myself. Fortunately, at least, I used to get paid for this chore. However, now, it is just plain expected. For some strange reason all that was about to change...

There I was just gazing out the windshield of my car...Sun shining, little muggy, and the slightest of breezes and all I could think about was the smell of gasoline on grass. This smell is what most refer to as the smell of freshly cut grass. Pulling into the driveway, I hit the garage door opener and parked the car in the little turn around. And as I gazed into the garage there she was....imagine bright lighting and choir of angels singing....my brand new riding lawn mower. Oh and she is a beauty too!!! A body as green as the fields of Ireland, a great set of headlights (bad pun), tons of horsepower, brand new blades, fresh set of wheels, and a nice cushy seat...one draw back, no cup holder, but that's ok! Oh Crafstman, how you can tease a man and appeal to his most primitive senses; which is located probably somewhere in the lower third of the backside portion of the right hemisphere of the brain, or right next to the part that makes me enjoy Guinness and Kristi McNichol so much.

(Side note: Why to we (men) refer to items we like as "she"? My opinion, I don't know, maybe it's because of the inherent beauty or that particular item. Kind of like the same way we marvel at a beautiful woman, thus, the "she". Maybe it's because most of the items we call she, we are driving in some fashion. And, unless you are homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that), we mostly like to "drive" women. Oh God, that was horrible...did I just write that. WOW!)

For the next forty-five minutes I gleefully sat atop this grass destroying beauty, spreading clippings far across the fruited plain. Listening to my MP3 player, 80's hair metal of course, and relishing in the fact that I shall never push a mower again. I shall ride upon my chariot and groom the backyard to look like the fairways of Augusta National (where the Masters tournament is played for all you non-golfers out there). Oh how forty-five minutes can pass so quickly!! Once I was done, I gave her a bath and made sure she was well taken care of and put her back into the garage. She had earned it, she worked hard and deserved the restful peace of a week off. That is, until the ravages of growth and photosynthesis make my lawn become unbearable to look at once again. And she will be there, as will I, to conquer the ill effects of over grown grass that bring shame to any respectable home owner.

Wow, I need to get out more. Ok then, I am off to play some golf!

Poetry on parade...

2006-06-29T17:40:00.000-05:00

I am quite aware of the level of my poetry...how it borders on hilariously gawd awful. That just fine by me!! I do not make my living by writing; nor do I wish to be lauded by fellow poets. I personally like to laugh and relive old memories from time to time. So, I have dug out another gem (cough, cough!) from my stack of poems and I wish to share. So please enjoy, laugh, mock, be moved to tears (from the smell), whatever you heart desires...just read:

The Course

Sailing on the dreamscape with a mind full of visions
under the gaze of the midnight sun
Distant dreams and hopes fill the sails
as you are guided by the stars
set away from reality's confining rails

Drifting on the winds of change
seeking a salvation that is second to none
Carried away by the waves
the destination known only to one
To a place where you can live and dream free

Outward bound to an inner peace
Hoping the course you set was right
You search the depths of your soul
surfacing from the darkness into the light
and what once was empty now fills whole

And the course shimmers and shines
reflecting an illusion off the surface
follow it and search deep
for there lies the purpose.

The Midnight Matinee

2006-06-24T11:27:00.000-05:00

While watching AMC (I think) the other night I ran across a documentary movie about the cult following of the "midnight" movie, you may know some of them like, Rocky Horror and Eraserhead. Man, did this flood back some youthful memories into my head that I had almost forgotten about.

My favorite, in high school at least, was always the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I think it was a generational thing or maybe just the fact that the theater in Portland that we went to only showed this one film. I didn't stumble onto Eraserhead until after I had seen Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet. (I will be doing my David Lynch tribute at some point!)

Anywhoo, the friends that I had in high school somehow all convinced our parents that this was just fine entertainment for us to attend on a Friday or Staurday night. Understanding the story was not the idea...the escape was the best part og the evening. We didn't do the whole dress up in costume..although, with my looks and glasses I was Brad personified anyway! They didn't make them much geekier than I back in the day.

So there we were...toast, paper, rice,water guns...whatever we could get our hands on waiting to cram into a small fifty to sixty seat theater. It was an "artsy" theater. It had that musty theater smell (probably left over from the previous week's shows), sticky floors (don't know why...don't want to know), and a fabulously outdated sound system. It was the type of theater that shows the movies that you see often on IFC, how times have changed! Once the ok was given we would dash through the curtains (yes curtains, no doors!) and make our way towards our seats to lose ourselves for the next two, or so, hours.

Now everyone has their own experiences at Rocky Horror, so to try to explain it is almost pointless. Even between my group of friends we all got something different from the weekly experience. I can tell you that during my time in the theater it was not about who you are, where you were from, how popular you were (or were not)...you just mattered and that was incredible. That feeling would last until the middle of the next week, or at least until the buzz from the liter and a half of Denny's coffee wore off.

I know a few years back they tried to rekindle the popularity of the midnight matinee and had a Halloween showing at midnight at a larger theater with a stage and etc. I didn't go, and to the best of my knowledge, neither did any of the group of friends from my younger days. I truly do not think it was from lack of interest...I think it was due to a lack of true feeling.

the best news of the day...

2006-06-23T11:51:00.000-05:00

Rarely do I venture down the chinese "fast-food" track, but today I was feeling like I needed to feed that need.

So, after my fried rice lunch today the cookie reads:

You are talented in many ways

Well damn, how can it be a bad day after that?

The art of the mix tape

2006-06-23T05:54:00.000-05:00

I have had the unfortunate pleasure, at times, to be the hopeless romantic. Lost in a world of deep caring thoughts, tugging of the heart strings, dreams of splendid love-making, candle-lit dinners, and the list could go on and on. Then, of course, what you end up with is the petty fights, strain and an eventual broken heart, burnt mac and cheese and incredibly awesome break-up sex. Ok, at least there can be one positive.

Over the course of time in this type of relationship there usually was some sort of orchestrated show of love through music...otherwise known as the mix tape. This collection of random songs was supposed to show you deep rooted affection and knowledge of your partner, a memento to remember you and your relationship...always and forever (Thank you, Peaches and Herb).

It must be said that there is a definite art to the creation of a mix tape. I personally still have two of the best mixes ever made for me from the best relationships of my life. Both are crafted with what appeared to be a great sense of where each relationship stood at the time and has enclosed for me how these people really felt. This begs the question, can a formula be written to insure a perfect mix tape every time no matter the occasion? I strongly say....I don't know, but I do know some things to avoid.

First off, let me me say a HATE mix tape is the easiest to make. Any chump (man or woman) with an ounce of venom in their soul can be a truly mean-spirited bastard and rip a person's heart out with a bunch of malicious songs...I am talking songs from the Cure, PiL, Morrissey, or any other depressed laden 80's music. The heart felt mix tape...that takes some talent and chutzpah, especially when the tape is being used to define your relationship.

Some suggested guidelines

Limit you tape, CD, mp3s to no more than 12 to 15 songs...any more than that and it could become diluted.
For the love of all that is Holy...do NOT start your mix with "the song" that defines your relationship. Put that song somewhere near the mid-point or last 3/4 of the mix, this is like a good book (or sex for that matter) you have to build to a climax!!
Begin with something up beat that reminds you of a great unique time that you had together. For example: a song you heard on your first road trip together...I mean, who doesn't remember the first time they sang "It's the end of the world as we know it" by REM , "Walking on sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves, or "Roll to Me" by Del Amiti with the windows rolled down screaming at the top of your lungs!! Who cares if you really like the song...you're remembering the time.
Remember these songs don't have to be current catalog favorites...almost all women, and some men, love to hear Etta James sing "At Last"!
If you have the access to infuse quick stories or your voice in the tape (clips NOT SPEECHES), then do it. Nothing personalizes this mix more than your own voice. Granted you're probably not a fantastic DJ, but it's the effort of possibly making a complete ass of yourself that they'll enjoy.
And finally, relax and enjoy the process...if you don't like the mix it can be recorded over.

Well, that's all I have to say. Hope some of you may have some thoughts of some of your favorite mixes that you either received or made.

The wonderful world of GAWD awful poetry....

2006-06-19T18:44:00.000-05:00

I was rooting through some of the collections of things I have stored away over the years, which is something that never seems to grows triesome. I happened to come across my long, lost addiction to grasp the world by the throat...poetry. I used to enter every contest I could..my attempts to get published were legendary!!! Well, at least to me. I owe it all to my 10th grade English teacher, Mrs. J.

She was the classic "crunchy", clog and summer dress wearing teacher that taught us to expand our minds in the pages of books, music, and writing. I still love her supportful nature and can't count the number of dreadful peoms I must have sent across that marred oak desk. She would even stay after school so that we could read them to her...becuase she would tell us, "that's when poetry has its strongest effect." Wow, just writing this reminds me of how smitten I was with her.

With those thoughts in mind, I figured I would put it all out there and share some of my poems. Most of which were place on paper from the years of 1986 - 1990. Youth on parade, with a grand view of how I thought things should be! Are they any good? I don't know...maybe to someone. All you can do is put yourself out there for the scrutiny...at least I know it makes me laugh a little.

Here goes........

Moving On

On a cold winter's night,
I last saw your face.
Remembering the talk of the time,
and yes,
I remember the place.
Your innoncence as white as the snow that fell,
and a grace that warm even the coldest night.
Leaving that behind just didn't seem fair,
it just wasn't right.

Sending a distant gaze to the evening sky,
to the brightest star.
I wonder if you can feel me,
and that I know where you are.
These memories will never leave me.
They haunt me everyday,
making me want to scream into the night,
to give up today and live for yesterday.

I need to get back to that place.
I've got to stop this madness of being alone.
Staring at the shadows,
sitting, and waiting for the ring of the phone.
Never once asking myself the question,
"Is this right for me?"

It's always so strange how we keep reaching,
for the things we may never hear or see.

The Picnic Saga...

2006-05-27T08:17:00.000-05:00

I really have no idea where to begin with describing what an incredible experience this has been. As I have said before, I have been invovled in theater for some time but there has always been a plateau I have never surpassed. I never seemed to really become a character in the aspect of losing yourself for those hours you're at the theater. I am not saying that in the past I did not really try, but I never got that deep down feeling that I wasn't somehow still myself. It sounds pretencious and corny, I know, but...well, it's hard to explain.

Anywho...on to Picnic. I am currently acting the role of Alan, the good guy. Totally emasculated, momma's boy, door opener, asks a girl to kiss her kind of guy. Really interesting dynamic, mostly because I truly think he in some small way he doesn't want to be this way. He's almost forced to play a role himself...the standard 1950's clean-cut, God fearing man, that dodes upon his beautiful wife. It's not that Alan wants to be a "bad boy", but his upbringing and caste in society demands he act a certain way. In conversations with Hal you can imagine and almost hear the excitement Alan has about Hal's conquest of the female sex and all the wild "real-life" experiences Hal has been through. Think for a moment back to when you were a kid, especially if you're a guy, you always would have rather been James Dean, Jimmy Cagney, or Marlon Brando instead of some respectful, book smart, hand holding good guy. WHY? Well, that's easy, they always get the girl and they do it with flair! And we all know that the girls, at least where I grew up, always had more of a soft spot for the "bad boy" they could fix then they ever could for the nice guys they kept around as "friends".

Like I said before, I have never really delved this deep into my imagination in doing a role. I never thought beyond the words on the page. This journey all has come from some advice I received from my director/mentor, watching 1950's movies, reading, a NY city actress that was nice enough to share thoughts with me, and my fellow cast members. It has really energized my acting process and made me think that there is a myriad of places I could go from here. It will be interesting to see how opening night and the run goes.

Theater...What a boring place without it!

2006-05-13T07:51:00.000-05:00

When I tell people I have a show to do, at my real job or elsewhere, I still marvel at the reaction and the questions. "You act? What play are you doing? WOW that sounds fun!!" The ability that theater has to help people escape, actors included, is what makes theater so amazing and desired. I have been involved in one way or another in some sort of theater since the ripe old age of 14. High school productions, community theater, dinner theater, improv, independent film (really independent, didn't even finish independent) if I could be involved; I was. I have seen all the typical theater things....Phantom on Broadway, Summer Stock Shakespeare, CATS (ugh), Godspell, Joseph. I have also realized, by keeping my Playbills, that I have seen some pretty damn successful actors in my time (ie: pre-Seinfeld Jason Alexander in Jerome Robbin's Broadway). I own Judy Garland's famous Carnegie Concert..double CD. I have read/studied about Meisner(favorite!!!!), Chekhov,etc....you get the point.

The fact that I get paid to do improv and dinner theater (no I'm not rolling in it nor do I consider myself a professional actor) still amazes me. I don't really know if I would travel like I do for those performances and do it for free, but I do perform in community theater for nothing. So at some deeper level, I guess I would. I have never had an actual college level acting class. I tried to take one at the local college and the professor was more concerned about rambling on about how the Republicans were destroying the world. So, upper level classes really turned me off. Any acting ability I have mustered has come from great actors , directors, and mentors that I have talked and worked with, who are just fellow people that share the same passion. The famous quote is, " I learned what I know by standing on the shoulders of giants." or some close copy of that.

So currently, I am involved in a theater production of Picnic by William Inge and doing a variety of dinner theater shows for Maine Street Entertainment/Mystery for Hire. I would give the website but, it is HORRIBLE and the actors are staging a revolt shortly to have the site updated and more presentable. Go if you must, I beg you not too. The two styles are completely different and for me require completely different attitudes and mindsets. I feel I could do dinner theater in my sleep, but Picnic...completely different story. Some nights I can't sleep because of Picnic.

Since, the beginning of rehearsals for Picnic I have been following "Diary Friday" at www.sheilaomalley.com. She describes in detail her 16 year old ordeal with this play....and it's fascinating!! So, not to rip off Sheila's great idea, I think I will track my progress through this show and give you my struggles and ecetera. This project will help me keep my fantasy world alive for a little bit longer, one which I have come to love by the way (even though I lose the girl!!). So, Sheila, I apologize and I hope you understand why I am doing this. I will also, give you the low down on my dinner theater stuff too!! Which means I will be posting some time aroud 2 am tomorrow morning after I get home from my 6 hour roundtrip drive to perform Murder Most Medieval for some hungry, and probably drunk, people.

Unitl next time...

Been a loooong time....

2006-05-13T07:36:00.000-05:00

Well, so much for thinking that a blog was an easy things to do. Between life commitments, theater, reading, golf, and work (notice that was last) my blog time has taken a considerably diminished role in the grand schema of my life. I vow to you, yes you the one person that may read this, that I will make more of an effort to keep up with my ramblings and life in general.

MENTAL NOTE: Dude,(my mind speaks surfer from time to time)you have had no comments to any post you have made! Why on God's green earth are you writing an apology to no one?

Anyway, I am back.

Sad news..RIP Darren McGavin

2006-02-26T17:27:00.000-05:00

Darren McGavin was one of those character actors that always seemed to make movies, especially comedies, just a little bit better. Two of my favorites were Billy Madison and, of course, the classic A Christmas Story. Every time I see A Christmas Story I am on the floor during the whole scence with the in famous leg lamp....

"What does that writing say?"

Darren: "FFFFraaaagile...Frageeeleah. That means it's important"

"What does that mean?"

Darren: "I...uh, I....I don't know it's something French for important."

CLASSIC, and who could forget the awesome line, "You look like a dee-ranged Easter Bunny. He looks like a pink nightmare."

Sad to see such a good character actor with great skills pass away. He gives all of us "non-leading man non-pretty people" a reason to pursue a career in acting. If you look at his resume you'll see he keep himself quite busy not being a superstar.

Until next time...

"Miracle on Beaver Pond"

2006-02-24T06:04:00.000-05:00

As I have watch the Olympics for the past week I have been waiting for that "feeling". You know the one that shakes you to your core love of this country, the flag, and just overall Olympic competition. A feeling of the the passion, as you watch an Olympian(s) filled with tears on the stand as the national anthem is played and chuckling that they sometimes try to remember the words...hahahaha. That's great stuff.

Don't misunderstand, I think there have been a few moments like this in the 2006 games...for example, Shaun White's hilarious commentary and youthful exuberance...DUUUUDDEE, you sooo rocked!!! Of course there has also been the speed-skating infighting garbage and a showboating snowboarder(just win with grace, you TOOL!). Whoa...sorry about that. Anyway, my point is that one of the best moments of this "feeling"...sorry, the BEST moment ever for this "feeling" in Olympic history happened at Lake Placid 26 years ago.

I still remember the night clear as a bell....in our living room, up WAAAYYY past my normal bedtime, sweat pouring from me as I ran around for every hip check, shot, save, and goal. I was Jim Craig making every save. I actually had my hockey stick in my hands, much to my mother's chagrin. I distinctly remember orchestrating the team around the ice.."ok, pass it to the point...the point you dummy. Now, into the slot...SHOOT!!SHOOT!!...for the love of God would you SHOOT the puck!!!"

It was such a good hockey game. I really was going to be happy if we kept it close, I remember my uncles telling me how good the Russians were. I must admit if Al Michaels had not told me from the beginning that we were playing the Russians I would have had no idea. This is a true fact because I had no friggin' clue what CCCP stood for!! Give me a break.... I was only eight years old....and yes, I asked my teacher when I went back to school. It's stands for USSR written in the Cyrillic alphabet, or Russian as my teacher told me .

Then came the Eruzione goal..I thought I was going to die! Granted we had a lifetime on the clock, but we actually had a lead. The full body reaction of the Russian goalie was priceless, it was one of utter shock and disappointment. How did that puck go in the net?? Then after over 10 agonizing minutes that seemed like hours came the call...3,2,1 do you believe in miracles? YES! YES! YES! It's the first time I ever cried for a sporting event.

The best part of all of this came the next day, and many others after that, when all my friends and I all met outside to play...hockey of course, I'm a Maine boy! There we were in the freezing-ass cold, hands red from lacing up the skates, sticks that were actually made out of wood, no helmets, shinpads, or hockey pants (with padding), and shovels to clear off the pond. It was the best 8 on 8 hockey game you could find in our town. We must have re-played that game, at least the 3rd period, for hours on end every single day at Beaver Pond. Each person getting their "shot" at the winning goal and the full celebration onslaught that occurred when the buzzer went off. I still drive by that pond every once and a great while, when I visit my parents, and I laugh just thinking about those games and replays.

Granted the skating and stuff we did was great but somehow, without it really being said, we each wanted to wear that sweater with the USA logo on it. I remember wondering if my last name would actually fit on it...8 letters seemed like a lot to me back then, and I always wanted the number 19. I don't really think it had to do with beating the Russian's I think it had to do with an inner love and pride, the capital letters USA meant something to us. The little guy is triumphant in the face of insurmountable odds kind of stuff. Yeah, I know, seems corny, but maybe that's the problem...the "pretty and smart" people actually think that my saying that is corny nowadays. The funny part of this and any other story is if you ask someone about the 2002 Olympics when the pros were playing...most Americans can't tell you exactly what they were doing. The more important question lies in can we only feel pride when we have an enemy to beat in Olympic competition? Well for me.....I know my last name would definitely fit and look damn good on the back of that sweater, even if I don't have the talent to skate with those professionals.

Until next time...

Oh the places you will go...

2006-02-19T09:34:00.000-05:00

I was re-reading this childhood favorite of mine last night and realized I had spent some time in a few places...it's weird sometimes when you move back home you can lose some concept of all the places and things you have seen. This occurrence only seems to happen because of the overall sense of routine we have when we are "home".

Here's my highlighted list of places I've visited or called home at one time or another.....

The big apple
- loved it...ALL OF IT... every time I went, even the mugging. (shows you what a dumb kid from Maine knows about getting a cab!)
- realized that theater was something worth doing, even though most thought we were geeks. It's not until you get to talk to the cast of Phantom after the show that you have really lived.
- BATMAN symbol at Times Square was the most amazing thing I had ever seen!!!!!

Great Lakes, Illinois
- A place I never thought I'd go...and never wanted to return after I had been.

Chicago
- Doesn't everyone have to go to the top of the Sears Tower and do the Ferris Bueller thing!!!
- The Water Tower was also an amazing experience...especially since our mall had a total of 15 stores.
- Any city that has a river running through the middle of it has to be cool.

San Diego, California
- I lived literally a half mile away from the Sand Diego Zoo....this place is where I learned my appreciation for how truly outnumbered the human race really is....and when Hitchcock's story of the birds scared the crap out of me!!
- The Balboa (no, not named after Rocky) arboretum...a place to meditate, draw, and just breathe.
- Beaches, girls, the end of hair-metal chicks, girls, and oh yeah....girls.
- Sunset cliffs...need I say more..AMAZING!
- Got to really understand Shakespeare in an outdoor half-shell....and realizing how far I had to go in my acting craft....if that's what you want to call it.
- First ever Christmas without snow/winter. If you have never went to get an X-mas tree in shorts, you should at least try it once. Then realize how cool it is to have all four seasons.

San Antonio, Texas
- The Alamo is a sight...and somehow I left expecting more.
- Yes, there really are cowboys...it freaked me out, don't really know why?
- Pace picante sauce is really made there....IT'S ALL YOU CAN SMELL FROM THE HIGHWAY!!!!!
- The River Walk is a really cool place..when at least inside the bars.
- Night time is unreal...there are no trees, and in some places no buildings....it's the closest to pitch black I have ever experienced in the outdoors.

New London, CT
- I didn't know until after I had left that I was living in the "ghetto". Ignorance is bliss.
- Subs, Subs, and more Subs
- Not everyone in CT lives in a mansion and drives to New York to work. Those are only the ones you see on TV.

Chesapeake, Viginia
- Gated communities are cool....or at least they keep the crime away. The funny part was I don't think I ever spoke to another resident the whole time I was there. This is a sad commentary.
- Crab is king...and Joe's is where you get it!
- My first ever experience with "soul food"....Great name and ohh, how I miss it. It definitely changes you if it is cooked with love in someone's kitchen.

There are tons of other places large and small I've visited and the fact is I have loved at least one thing or more about all of them...but my roost is in Maine. This fact has made me realize a few things too.

- If you want to have an acting career or be a horror writer...please don't come to Maine those two jobs are already taken. (and not by me!!)
- If you want to safely hail a cab, ayuuhhh, this is the place for you.
- Believe it or not, our family trees do branch...and no we don't live in igloos. (Yes, I actually had to answer the latter question!)
- Lobster is king..and anywhere is where you can get it.
- There is no place else I want to go...well, at least to live.

Until next time, just close your eyes and imagine all the places you can go!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!

2006-02-18T15:06:00.000-05:00

Being the oldest sibling has always been a bit of a challenge. There are definite things that I hated. Let me just name a few:

- No matter who started it I always should've know better.

- The eldest always got the good chores like...mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, raking leaves, dishes...and the younger is "just to young to do those things." REAALLLY.....12 always seemed old enough for me to do them!!

- I can't believe I had to be in bed by 9:00 pm until my Junior Year of High School!!! Then I watched, after I left home, you stay out until all hours of the night once you got into High School.

- For a good number of years my task was to get your breakfast ready on the weekends and what did I get in return....a plastic bowling pin to the HEAD!!! (looonnggg story...maybe for another post!)

- How is it that I had to buy a piece of crap car WITH MY OWN MONEY...less than 100 dollars mind you...practically rebuild and call it the Bondomobile and the "baby" gets a car for her birthday. (ok so that really did have much to do with being older but still...COME ON!!!!)

I'm not even going to get into dating....but you knew that no kid, guy, jock, or any other male was ever going to be good enough for my sister. Just so you know...tormenting all those pretenders was a BLAST!!!!

I really can't believe you are this old and yet, I am still older. You absolutely amaze me with the things you have accomplished and the person you have become. I couldn't be any more proud of you sis...and you know damn well you ALWAYS hit me first!!

I Love you,

Your big bro

Day 1.....and now what?

2006-02-18T13:59:00.000-05:00

I have always been fascinated with the way humans react and interact. This phenomenon is so gracefully shown with the invention of the blog. A place for people to hide some sense of their physical being and location yet, on the other hand, express how they truly feel about any array of subjects. WOW, what a cleansing experience and a deep gaze into the human condition.

I am in no way an expert in this matter and I am definitely not looking to reinvent the wheel, as far as blogs are concerned. As the title of my blog states, this will be a place for my gray (and white also!) matter musings. Yup, just a place to express my thoughts, experiences, likes, dislikes, recommendations, etc.

I, like most others, need some sort of therapy. Therapy is a good place to just let it all out, relieve the stresses of the day, world, or whatever you fancy. What better place to express and overcome fears, problems, and many other glorious experiences than in front of tens of people. Well, at least ten is a good target number.

What I really would like to see happen is some sort of discussion of many different subjects, and also to know that I am not the only person that thinks the crazy things that I do. That being said (or written), please feel free to comment and at some point I'll hope to have an email address specifically for recommendations, discussions, etc.

So to all involved, please enjoy and join in this long strange erratic journey called life and let's discover something!!